Ever wonder “How did I get here?” Here’s my story…

I’ve been doing a lot of work on my “self” lately…

Well… it’s actually been a life long thing but over the last 3 years I’ve really experienced a lot of positive and negative change. I’ve also experienced a lot of road blocks to the change I’ve wanted. So this caused me to really dive in deep and have a look around to see what’s really going on inside of me.

Since I officially started my business about three years ago (got my LLC, my certifications and licenses, office, new website, a business coach and the whole nine yards!) I really wanted to step into being a great and helpful health coach. But yet I’ve struggled. And struggled. And struggled.

I’ve been told by many that my bodywork (massage, Reiki, ReikassageTM) is unique and produces some wonderful transformation and healing, for which I am truly grateful! I asked for this gift and it was graciously given. But because my bigger mission has been to help people heal their guts, reverse disease (including the so-called “irreversible” like cancer), bodywork wasn’t what I thought I wanted to do.

“I want to help on a MUCH bigger scale than that”, I thought, but that’s totally changing! 😉 As it turns out, I’m really loving the bodywork, the energy work, my clients and serving them this way, and now I’m studying Craniosacral therapy. So excited about all this!

About 3-4 years ago, my stress began to mount as I really began studying “how to be a successful entrepreneur and make money” to not only survive, but to build my dream of a wellness center AND a wellness retreat (in the woods with a hot spring). I was starting to see, however, that serving clients by the hour is fairly limited. There is a ceiling since there are only so many hours in a day that you can see clients. My dreams are big and to build these big dreams, I need to bring in big money.

SO… with all the business stresses I was going through from about 2013 to mid-2015 along with a broken heart, and some pre-established health issues that I wasn’t even aware of (which were there because of my previous 50 years of thinking, eating, habits and lack of physical activity), my health was really suffering, and thereby my confidence to be a successful coach was shot to shit. Because I was so focused on what was happening outside of myself (watching the bank account drain and cringing every time a bill came due) I wasn’t paying attention to the cues my body was sending me.

I did like everyone does to get by and I self-medicated. I just needed to get through the day, get stuff done so I can achieve my goals. Everyone has their weapons of self-abuse (that’s really what it is) and since I’d already given up wine or any alcohol (it instantly made me feel horrible, even tho I wished I could drink it), my main one was carbs. And overly so.

 

I ate healthy carbs… mostly.

And comparatively to most, I know I ate really well. But I couldn’t have just a serving of rice… I NEEDED the whole pot. Same with quinoa, or oats, or potatoes… 2, 3 or even FOUR a day!

When overwhelm would really hit (and it hit often over the last couple years), and with the newly passed laws that legalized weed here in Oregon, I resumed, on occasion, my late teens and early 20’s ritual of toking on the pipe. At first it felt like relief but, as you can guess… it really only made things worse. I’d just get lazy and relaxed, which was the point, right?

I’d justify that I’ve been working for nearly 12-18 hours a day for several days in a row, so I deserve this. Because the overwhelm was relentless, once or twice a week on the weekends quickly became a daily thing. Quitting time came earlier and I’d lay on the couch and “veg” AND I’d get the munchies… for carbs. I had no energy. No ambition. And lots of fear and shame.

My educated biases got overrun and I’d give into popcorn, bags of chips (organic blue corn and quinoa… “healthy” ones, right?!) and avocado, milk kefir and garlic dip or bean dip I’d make from scratch. I’d bake up potatoes every morning and promise myself “only one or two today!” but I’d almost always end up eating all 4 (I was trying to be conservative of the energy and bake several at one time).

 

As I gave in to more and more of my cravings…

…trying to assuage my overwhelm, guilt/shame, dwindling $$ and trying to get a foothold on all this business “business”, I jumped on the stimulating and “energizing” bandwagon of Bulletproof coffee and grass-fed butter. And OMG… the butter on the baked potatoes, I was in hog-heaven (quite literally). Holidays each year = the “treat” of cookies or “healthy” fudge/brownies made of coconut flour, maple syrup and raw cacao… 😛

It all tasted delightful. But I packed on about 15-20 lbs. And I felt like crap. I’d wake up in the morning and feel hungover, lethargic and uninspired. My mouth tasted like I’d been sucking on metal balls all night, my jaws were clenched and tight and I wasn’t able to have a decent bowel movement in months. I had chronic sinus infections. Started getting bladder infections. I was depressed. Getting more and more gassy and bloated everyday along with the added weight. Joints started hurting. I felt weak. Tired… ALL THE TIME. I felt toxic.

I started doing coffee enemas. I LIFE saver… because it really released a bunch of stored up toxins that I hadn’t been able to poop out effectively but over the course of months of this… I became addicted to the relief and ease of clearing my colon this way. I really shed a lot of toxins and truly think this saved a lot of physical toxicity but 1) the enemas (done that often for that long without proper supplementation) started to deplete my vitamin and mineral stores, and 2) I continued to shovel in and smoke the things that hurt me and prevented my success in life. Of course I added in a glass or two of green juice to help but it wasn’t enough.

I started throwing money I didn’t have to spare at programs and books that I didn’t have time or energy to use. And I felt an incredible amount of shame and guilt for all of it.

About a year ago (mid-2015) I started to re-saturate myself with the teachings of Abraham-Hicks and the Law of Attraction. I know the LOA is present just like the law of gravity and there’s no denying it. I’ve seen evidence of it in my life and those around me. Both good and bad… whatever we focus on we attract and manifest more of that in our lives. Period.

 

I’d been focusing on lack, misery, my broken heart and
wounded feelings of betrayal.

So I started to focus on the things I wanted.

I was stunned at how often I launched into mind-chatter and scenarios filled with drama and negativity. Gadz… no wonder I kept getting a lot of this negative stuff in my life! Then I started to carry around guilt for thinking the negative thoughts that created this negative experience!!

DEAR LORD, it was a challenge and quite honestly, it is a daily effort to stay focused on the good things I want and NOT the negative things I’ve often gotten (but thankfully it gets easier!).

 

Around the holidays/end of 2015 I made the decision to give up the weed. Thankfully it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. And with that, I gave up the munchies and most of the carbs. I still ate the whole, plant-based foods like potatoes, rice, oats and quinoa. I even started becoming vegetarian so I had to include whole grains/carbs, otherwise it was just veggies and fruit and I wanted more substance that just that, especially in the cooler months of the year.

I felt horrible when I ate meat, both physically and on a conscious level (thinking about the lack of humane treatment to the animals). My continued and really debilitating fatigue seemed to be connected to it (I felt better without it) so I gave it up gradually. I started to feel some symptoms that might be an overgrowth of candida (yeast), so I removed the sugars from fruit and things like honey or maple syrup. But it didn’t change anything and I couldn’t explain the on-going, increasing and monstrous amount of bloating, gas, brain fog, pressure in my gut. I let go of the grains and potatoes and still no change.

Removing all sugars wasn’t helping like it has in the past. Not. At. All. I became really frustrated and sank deeper into a lack of confidence about how I can help either myself or others. I was down to just veggies to eat and feeling lost. But I’m not a quitter. Damn it…

 

Through lots of additional research, I finally discovered…

…what was causing these persistent and unrelenting symptoms of fatigue, painful bloating, gas, diarrhea and constipation, depression: SIBO (small intestine bacteria overgrow).

I was shocked when I discovered that a great deal of the healthy foods I was eating as dietary staples (almonds, avocado, celery, onions, garlic and more) contained aspects that were feeding this bacteria.

My insurance wouldn’t cover the SIBO or the candida testing, so I opted to just follow the dietary guidelines and I finally got improvement. Like a light switch I felt relief!! I’ve been learning, first hand, a great deal about this thing SIBO. And with this awareness and tools to correct it, my confidence is soaring. Yay!

I’m improving and I know this will be a journey… just like life. There’s no need to think in terms of “destination” because it really is about the journey. Every day gets better. More alertness, clearing of the brain fog, no more depression or fatigue. I wake rested (provided I get to bed early enough to get about 8 hours). My head and mouth feel clearer in the mornings —NO MORE HANGOVER feelings! The gas and bloating is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. The pain is gone. AND the scale is starting to read lower numbers. But best of all, I’m feeling better over all.

I’ve also discovered through other learning, how our brain is wired and why I was repeating the same old thoughts, which created the same old shit in my life, and how to change that to get more of what I truly want in life. I’ll speak more on this in future posts.

Candida and SIBO could be perceived as opportunistic critters, and, well… they are. But I am truly grateful for these things. They chose me, or I chose them. Either way, because of this experience, I’m in a much better place and so much better able to achieve my goals of creating my dreams of helping 1000’s upon 1000’s of others that want to improve their lives and how they feel.

I’ve come to learn that like candida, SIBO is more common than not. And these are both things most often not recognized by western medicine, and if they do, they usually throw an antibiotic at it which really sets a stage for massive recurrence.

 

I am “Margie, The Healthy Belly Warrior”

I gave myself this nickname almost two years ago and finally feel like I’m living up to it.

I share my whole, embarrassing and shame-filled story because I suspect that there are a GREAT MANY women and men that also experience some intense (or even moderate at first) bloating, gas, fatigue and brain fog. These aren’t the only symptoms of SIBO but they are good clues to it’s presence, especially if they show up after you’ve eaten carbs/sugars, garlic, onions, almonds, etc.

Our bodies systems are like symphonies and when there is too much of one thing or not enough of another, things can spiral quickly in the wrong direction. But they can also get back on track.

Few in the western medical field are aware of SIBO or how to treat it effectively. Through researching successful practices I’ve discovered some key tips to eliminating the overgrowth while balancing the other aspects of the symphony. Because these are tenacious “critters”, you need a protocol of more than just eliminating the foods that feed it.

When I think back to when my mother was experiencing painful bloating, gas, chronic diarrhea which ultimately developed into colon cancer and took her life, I feel so sad that I didn’t know any of this to help her. A good friend suggested that maybe she’s reaching out to me now, from across the veil, to help me so that I can help many others with the same or similar gut issues. For that I’m grateful.  Thanks Mom.tiny purple heart

As I began to deeply study the power of intention, the laws of attraction, and consistently putting forward the intention to get the help I needed, it began to show up in my life. If you’re experiencing some of the things I wrote about here, maybe coming across this post is help showing up for you. 😉

How I can serve?

 

A pivotal key to getting what we want…

…whether it’s healing, money, a partner or happier relationship… we have to stay focused on what we want but then let go of the outcome. Go ahead and visualize the end result and believe it to be true, right now. But don’t keep “wanting” for it. Otherwise you’ll create a pattern of “wanting”.

Choose to love; yourself, others, circumstances. Everything (even dis-ease) and everyone is a gift… a blessing. Find the good in the bad. You’ll likely be surprised and discover why it’s in your life experience!

If you or someone you know/love is experiencing anything similar to what I’ve shared, I’d love to hear from you. I invite you to post below.

If you’d like to join or just learn more about how you can get FREE 24/7 support in the Take Control Community, just click the link below:

Take control Community

 

If you would like to connect with me a little more in-depth, I’m available. Just click on the link below to schedule a call and I’d be happy to chat with you.

in gratitude Margie

click to learn or schedule free discovery session


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *